Hi all

[bubbles]

I am new to this website. My husband has tc. He had his first surgery about a month ago and is slated for a rplnd in a couple of weeks. This has been a very trying time for both of us, but I feel that we are on our way to a bright future. I would like some advice on how to be there for my hubby whilel he is going throgh his rplnd. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.

[Vinny]

Well obviously, you won't be there during the acutal procedure, but afterwards you both need to figure out how you will tolerate each other (that sounds awfully odd, but I think it's an accurate description). My spouse tends to hover, so it was helpful to have somebody else at the hospital (in my case, my folks and her mother) to be able to drag her off to do something else besides sit next to my bed, so we could both get some rest. Once I was cleared to walk on my own, I did so at every opportunity, regardless of whether my wife was there with me. I think it helps to have a little independence as a patient.

After going home, we had to work out the whole physical exertion issue. I was told no heavy lifting (20+ lbs) for 6 weeks, no driving until I was off narcotics and could execute emergency maneuvers (sudden braking, swerving, etc.) comfortably. But the docs also said if you're not straining, it's probably OK. My spouse tried to make sure I didn't put myself in situations that required lifting, but at the same time, if there were things I could carry without feeling like I was pushing myself, I said I could do it. It's a trust issue for both spouses: the patient has to trust the caregiver to not be overprotective, while the caregiver has to trust the patient to be honest about their physical wellbeing and what they can truly handle.

Hope this helps.