People found out and now im screwed

[aliasarchangel]

ok SOMEHOW it got leaked that I have one ball now and everyone is making fun of me now...even my friends ( well so called friends) I feel so bad and I don't know what to do...I feel alone and betrayed and like such a freak!... most of you are older men right? Im only a teenager and you know how kids can be cruel....I know your going to say "just ignore them", but I can't...Sometimes I feel like I should have kept the ball and let the cancer kill me

[Scott]

This is a tough situation, and there's no one right answer. You can tell some people that cancer isn't funny and the jokes bug you. With others, you might be able to laugh along with them. Robin Williams regularly jokes that Lance Armstrong has an unfair cycling advantage because having one testicle makes him more aerodynamic.

No matter what, you're better off being alive!

[Dave V]

You're not screwed, You're an average human being.

Why? ..., the average Human being has one testicle

Why? .... If you take all the human beings on the planet and counted the testicles and divided by the number of people you counted, it would be around 1


Don't worry, they'll forget about it, you'll forget about it and life will go on.

[dadmo]

aliasarchangel:
I'm sure the ones who are making fun of you are doing it to hide their own fear. They know very well that if it could happen to you it could happen to them and they are just trying to act tough. Well they are acting tough and you are tough and you have the battle scares to prove it.

[aliasarchangel]

..well he average MAN, has 2 balls..I wanna be an average man ( I use to want to be more than average but now I will settle)...and, these are younger guys so i don't think thye think that way. We kinda think nothing will ever happen to us....I know I did but BAM, reality check!.......I'll just have to deal i guess...

[dadmo]

I know your frustrated and I understand that. I would be to. If the things the kids around you say didn't hurt I would be surprised. I don't think you need to see a shrink but do you have someone you can talk to who will let you blow off some steam? Have you considered an implant? It certainly wont replace the original but when you get to college or go on the dating scene you will have less expalining to do.

[steve_k]

im kind of in your situation. Although I am not quite still in high school, I am only 2 years out and in university now, im 21. I lost both my testicles and had two 'fake' ones put in, however I know that is not the issue here. All I can say is that all of that highschool 'drama' and teasing, etc ends after highschool. Once you go to college/university/straight to work there are no more 'popular' groups, or 'cool' kids, and even if your secret were to get out after highschool, there is just so many students and so many different groups of friends it would be impossible for it to reach practically anyone, plus people are a lot more mature and would take something like that seriously and would understand that you would like to keep something like that private. So what Im saying here is, all you have to do is grit your teeth and bear the immaturity of others for a few more years.

[Don]

ok SOMEHOW it got leaked that I have one ball now and everyone is making fun of me now...even my friends ( well so called friends) I feel so bad and I don't know what to do...

You said it---- I know it may be hard to look at it this way but what a way to find out who your true freinds are!!!!! I think most guys can't resist the chance at cracking a joke, which is OK( all my buddy's bust my BALL every now and then), turn the tables a little and you can probably get them to stop but way of guilt--ask them if they were laughing at you when you were in the hospital and when you were diagnosed with CANCER ?? were you laughing at me when I was being operated on for cancer? do you think me having cancer and my family dealing with me having cancer is funny?? Are you going to be laughing at me when I am getting treatments and when I,m sick from treatments?? Would it be funny if I had lung cancer and had a lung removed?? would it be funny if your MOM had breast cancer and had a breast removed???? AS steve said you won't see most of these people after high school so don't pay them to much attention... I know of other guys at your age that have tried questioning the people that were teasing them as I listed above.. within a couple of days the teasing stopped in all cases.. Give it a shot... Just remember you'll always have some freinds here that understand what you are going through :) Good Luck! DON

[Mitch]

I don't post much anymore, but I felt compelled to respond...

First, let me say that these kids who are making fun of you in hurtful ways are infants. We've all dealt with ribbing and mockery in our lives for various things, but FOR SURVIVING CANCER? Are they seriously trying to mock you for fighting a life threatening illness AND DEFEATING IT? Are they seriously looking at you and saying this guy stared down death and won, and then laughing about it?

You are one of the strongest people in the world. I have never met you, but yet I know you. You are a guy with hopes and dreams and aspirations who one day woke up in a living nighmare. But, you didn't back down. You didn't say, my life is over. You stood up and went to the doctor and fought to survive. You were cut. You felt pain and fear. But that didn't stop you. You wanted to know when you could exercise, when you could get your life back. You are a survivor, you are a warrior, you are a fighter, you are an inspiration.

Now, we will never stop idiots in this world. So what can you do? Since people know -- embrace it. Stand up for who you are and what you went through (and continue to go through). You don't need to be beligerent, but stand up and let people know about your fight. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of the strength of your character to lose a ball to save your life. Be proud that you can say for the rest of your life that you are a CANCER SURVIVOR. That, to me at least, is not something to shy away from. That is something to be proud of. When others see that it is not something that you feel ashamed of, they will not be able to mock you for it.

Yes, you have 1 ball. That sucks. Trust me, I know. But so what. Yeah, there will be people in this world who will try to see that as a weakness -- as some way that they can gain an upper hand on you. But, there is nothing, and I repeat NOTHING that any kid can say to you that will be worse than the day that doctor looked you square in the fact and said "You had cancer!!!" And you survived that.

Read our stories, post to people here, share your experiences, give others guidance, and find your strength again. There will be many other people in the coming days, weeks, and months who will hear a similar diagnosis that you heard. They will come on to this board and ask many questions. They will be searching for people who went through what they are about to go through. Many of them will be teenagers. They will hear about your survival and that will give them hope that they too can survive. You will inspire them. Do not be ashamed of the power that you have. Do not be ashamed of the hope you can provide. Let these infants know that you are proud of who you are, and the fact that a disease that has claimed many lives, did not claim yours.

Surivivorship is hard. You can do it and we are here for you.

Best of luck,
Mitch

[Scott]

Beautifully said, Mitch!

[aliasarchangel]

:'( THANK YOU!!!! YOU ALL MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!! THANK YOU. REALLY!!! i <3 u ALL :')

[Karen]

Bravo, Mitch!!

[johnseed]

Hi Alias,

There are some great posts here, and I have to jump in with a few points...

I have been a one-balled guy for five years now (TC hit me at age 43) and can I say without being crude that my younger wife and I have an excellent sex life, and -- if you can believe it -- our second post cancer baby on the way. If there is anything that "sucks" about having one testicle, I am not the person to tell you what that is.

Who are these people that are kidding you? Are you telling me that they are going to check you out in the locker room and make comments? If so you really have to wonder what that is all about? Major insecurity perhaps? Even a kind of admiration that you have dealt with something heavy that they don't know if they could deal with?

You know there ARE people who die from TC because they are embarrased to go to the doctor or deal with a disease that strikes men in a private area of their bodies. As you have been told already, you are heroic in dealing with cancer, and you are gaining insight into human behavior that is going to give you maturity beyond your years.

Surviving is difficult, as has been mentioned here, but also EXTREMELY COOL. Be ready to receive admiration from your real friends and people who get it.

JS

[Chris'Mom]

Well said Mitch!....just wanted to let you know Alias that as was posted, after you get thru high school (and it will end sooner than you think) college is so different....my son Chris was 20 when he was he was diagnosed....and his roommates rallied around him...had charity events etc.....it is so different in college....I know it must be hard...but you will get thru it...look at Lance Armstrong and what a strong role model he is...as well as you are....you can get thru this and will be stronger ......take care...Mary Ellen

[Individuation]

Hey,

I'm a high school teacher, and my boyfriend has TC. So while, I'm not in your peer group - i'm always surrounded by them :) I think your best bet is to reply with either "I had CANCER" to shut them up, or "**** you dude. I beat cancer."

Either way, it WILL shut them up.

Seriously, life is gonna get better. Even with 2 balls - High school sucks and is so hard to get through. Life gets better and better as you get older, and seriously, some day when you meet someone special and tell them about your struggle with cancer that person will support you and think you're amazing for having beat it -- they won't care how many balls you have.

[ymno8]

my son has cancer and he has read your posts and i agree with the previous comment just tell em "f**** you i beat cancer" there can be no answer to that at all. i am in england and i hope this doesnt get lost in translation but you,my son and and anyone else who has had cancer has got bigger balls than any of your so called friends

[Chris'Mom]

Well said!

[justinsmom]

all I can say is all you guys with TC have more "balls" than the guys with "ONLY" 2 !!!!! God Bless, Lanette ><>

[aliasarchangel]

i see your points with the saying " fukc you i beat cancer"....But i'v said something like that....

ok so they were making fun of me and stuff right so i go

"it fukcing cancer what the hell is wrong with you"

They said something like this-

" Its ball cancer its not real cancer all you get is your ball chopped off"

BUT whatever, I don't give a damn WHAT they say...they just make me stronger..but they better check themselves before they wreck themsleves, for reals.

But those stupid ppl arent even my main problem, i have better things to worry about.

[Don]

I'll send you some pictures that I have of when the surgeon had me cut wide open on the table doing the RPLND surgery with his hands inside me removing a tumor as large as your head. Show them that and see if they have the same attitude...

[Karen]

alias,
ya gotta find new friends....wow... I'd try the "if looks could kill" stare and walk away. The one thing about truely ignorant people is it's more trouble than it's worth trying to get knowledge through their thick skulls. School's almost over for the year...hang in there and take the high road...there's lots of others walking with you.

[LoneNutTheorist]

Teenagers are in the weird place between childhood and adulthood. (Mostly childhood, though it doesn't seem like it to you now -- it will when you are older).

If I remember my teenage years correctly, teens will pick on absolutely any physical attribute. The things that seem so important now, are really insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

But ask yourself, who should feel worse? You? Or the people who are such idiots that they make fun of someone who had cancer.

I think the answer is abundantly clear.

Let idiots like that motivate you to do your best in school and career and let the idiots sabotage themselves. What goes around comes around. I've seen it happen time and again, and it's a wonderful thing.

[vwbuddy]

dude once you leave highschool or whatever you will never see them again. I know it sucks because you don't want your highschool years to be like this but, hey personally I would joke about it and turn it around, anyway if you don't talk about it with people you will become the one nut boy.

People like gossip if you confront the issue it will die down a lot.

[JimmyDean]

wow, what a bunch of immature HS kids...i remember being in HS and these kids sound like theyre in Junior high.... hang in there...karma will get them one day...

[James]

I am 28 now but was diagnosed at 23 and lost my "friend". Funny thing - I was in college and driving a school bus at the time for work. (I did this for a few years until I graduated) I WAS SURE TO NOT LET ANY OF MY HIGH SCHOOL KIDS KNOW. I was just "out sick" for a week.

Tell them whatever you want. Deny it if you want. Tell them to mind their own business - whatever it takes to get the jerks to stop their immature behavior. But always know, in your mind know that you are more of a man than they will ever be. YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!

Then when you get a little older and used to it, you will joke about it with ones really close to you. It's called, "The lighter side of t/c". (no pun intended)

:D

[Individuation]

Then when you get a little older and used to it, you will joke about it with ones really close to you. It's called, "The lighter side of t/c". (no pun intended)

:D

Heh - one of my boyfriend's friends made him a bunch of pins (that he'll never wear) that say things like "I LOST MY RIGHT NUT TO CANCER (and all I got were greuling weeks of chemotherapy)" and "LEFTY"

They were pretty funny.

E

[sylvyrwulf]

Individuation
just dont worry about i was there my unlce made fun of me cuz i had cancer and he didnt it was funny to him till i kicked him out the back door which now he dont make fun of me i have only one nut and i'm only 21 and i get picked on all the time but just tell them to put their self in your shoes and go though every thing that you been though and tell them that if make fun of people that has or had any kind of cancer is wrong but if they think that they are big bad boys well just let think that just as long as you know whats going and what its all about than just dont listen them



Earl & Jordyn

[BeachTech]

Most of my family has some pretty serious health issues due to lifestyle choices. When I was diagnosed, I was by far the healthiest, most athletic member of my family.

I told my dad. He said "You lead a very healthy life and this is what happens? How do you feel about having to have one of your testicles removed" This is what I told him:
"It's like your walking down the street in Los Angeles. It's a nice day and you are going to visit one of the sites. All of the sudden, a drive by happens and your eye gets shot out. You're lying on the sidewalk. Are you just going to lay there and die? Hell no. You go to the hospital, get treatment, and go on with life. Yeah, it sucks that your missing a body part, but hey, you could have lost your life".

You have looked death in the eye and kicked it's a$$. Be proud of that. I am. I even put a "Cancer Survivor" sticker on my car.

It doesn't seem like this now, but your cancer experience will benefit you for your entire life. You will be able to deal with life's challenges much better than your silly "friends." After cancer, everything else is a little easier to deal with.