Hi - ?? !!

[Mrs Moggi]

My husband was diagnosed about a month ago, I/O last week, 100% seminoma, we just found out today. I've been reading all your posts for the past week or so.

In the beginning, he didn't even tell me. When he was 20 his doc told him to check himself and that's how he discovered it. In fact, it wasn't until his surgery was scheduled that he told me there was a problem. I just so desperately want to help him. And there's nothing I can do. I am thinking about it all the time - and yet I feel like a cancer fraud. Relatively speaking we haven't been through that much. He (we) won't have chemo - just RT. And, he seems to be ok with the I/O.

[dadmo]

Mrs Moggi:
Don't stress over your husbands lack of communication about his illness. Most guy's just don't want to talk about it. The best you can do is let him know that your available to listen and let him know your learning everything you can about tc and its treatment.
Good luck with your treatment plan and don't worry about your husband not opening up.

[CharlieFL]

Mrs. Moggi, welcome! I for one can understand your husband's apprehension about telling anyone. I for one can tell you that if it wasn't for the (constant, well-intended, loving and above all LIFE-SAVING) nagging from my wife (who was the only other person that had seen the growth), I would have surely alllowed my testicle to grow down to my knees before saying anything! Anyway, the important thing here is that your husband is taking care of the problem now - get involved in the treatment and medical decisions from now on and face anything that comes as a team. Good luck!

[fuse929]

You have no reason to feel bad. It sounds like your husband dealt with his cancer the same way that I did......I knew I was in trouble 3 weeks before my surgery, and I didn't tell any of my family or friends, not even my girlfriend. I figured I was doing enough worrying myself, I didn't need them to worry too when there was absolutely nothing they could do. It wasn't until the day before the surgery that I told my girlfriend and mom, and even then I told them I was getting a a cyst removed and didn't even mention cancer. Later that week I told my mom that "the cyst turned out to be cancer, and I was lucky they found it so early".......my girlfriend I told the whole story too. She was a bit upset that I didn't tell her about it from day 1, but my family is about 1000 miles away from me I didn't need it to disrupt all of our lives when I felt I could handle the situation emotionally on my own.

In the end, I'm glad I handled it the way I did. I had the support of the people on this forum, and my graduate school adviser who took me to the hospital and stuff, which is all I needed. If I knew that my family was spending their time worrying about me I would have felt guilty. I wouldn't be surprised if your husband felt the same way.

Bobby

[Fish]

Welcome Mrs. Moggi,

As everyone said, men just do not like to talk about this stuff, let alone let anyone see that they're scared.

Your husband might suddenly decide to open up and let all the emotions out, so be ready in case that happens, they can just come flooding out sometimes.

It sounds like the treatment has gone well. I'm assuming the CT scans and blood test were all clear?

RT can cause nausea, so ask the doc about a prescription for anti-nausea meds and make sure your husband takes it. Don't wait until the nausea hits, take the meds in advance.

[Mrs Moggi]

Thanks everyone - I'm feeling better today. I've been off work since last week and got back today so my life is returning to normal a bit. I think part of it for me is having so much time on my hands with nothing else to think about.

The reason that he didn't tell me in the beginning was so that I wouldn't worry if there was no reason. He does want me to go to the RT consultation with him. He's told everyone he knows about it now that he knows the result. He is stressing how important it is to do self exam.

Some of his friends are planning a suprise dinner for him on Sunday - they're planning to show up with extra balls for him - so at least things will be a bit lighthearted.

And, I don't remember who asked, but he is 43.

Tx

[Karen]

Mrs Moggi,
Belated welcome! Adjusting to the new normal takes a bit of time for both of you. The dinner sounds like a blast! Humor goes a long way to heal. What kind of balls are they bringing? We have a member whose hubby collects bowling balls now :D