Terrified please help

[Scaredycat]

Hi, I’m 19 years old. I feel a lump on my right testicle. It doesn’t hurt when I touch it but sometime it hurts where the lump is located. Pain that comes and goes. I didn’t discover it recently...like some years ago... I can feel the lump even by touching it through my shorts. Sometimes my left one hurts too and the pain also comes and goes. Frightening. I never told my parents because I don’t know how and I don’t have the courage. I did a urine and blood test few months ago not related with my case. Nothing bad in urine but blood test revealed a bit of cholesterol which surprises me because I’m slim and young. Also my calcium is a little bit higher than the normal level. I read cancer can make excess calcium leak in blood. I don’t have back pain. No extreme fatigue. Sometimes a bit tired during the day but probably because I sleep late. I know there are some special blood test to detect presence of tumors. Mine was a regular one. Proteins, platelets, iron and other stuff. I start another school session at end August and I can’t keep that for myself another 4 months. My parents are already talking about back to school. It’s urgent. I will tell my mom first but how?! I know she will ask me since when do I have that and my answer won’t be "since a few months". Now I feel so stupid for waiting. It’s not easy and I’m shy to tell them. Like do I go and say "I have a lump on my ball". Scared of the reaction ( Even my sister will know. Another thing, what does "hard testicles" means? I read hard as a rock, golf ball...how is that possible? I know you guys will recommend me to go to the doctor but I’m so shy to pull down my pants. Even during the ultrasound. Like do they touch your balls to place the thing or position my balls on something? Then the doctor will check the results and it’s so stressful and scary. I don’t wanna check. Some other questions: 1. Why don’t they do radiotherapy only where the tumor is located instead of removing the entire testicle? 2. Why can’t they just remove the lump manually? 3. Does it start to grow from the inside? 4. I know I’m forecasting too much...but.. will my hair pattern change, my beard be as thick as before and my eyebrows as thick as before after chemo? 5- The though of having one testicle won’t destroy me completely but the thought that a recurrence or injury or whatever can happen to the remaining ball destroys me. How do you cope with that? 6- In what occasion do they do a partial orchiectomy instead of removing it completely? 7. How’s sex with no testicles?

Sorry for the longgggg post but I really need help!

Thanks

[shabby]

Yes, we're going to tell you to go see a doctor because there's nothing else to do. There is no home remedy or home diagnosis. Go tell your parents you have a lump on your balls. You're not the only person ever with balls. Half of the world does. Don't worry about the rest of your questions until you get that ultrasound. Tesiticular cancer is extremely rare. Your assumption should be that it's not cancer until they tell you it is. Quick answers to your questions.
1. They remove it because TC travels quick and that's the only surefire way of removing the source.
2. Partial balls don't work. Also see above.
3. It can start anywhere on the testicle.
4. Mine hair came back just fine. Most will. Some will see thinning. Chemo doesn't permanently destroy hair.
5. You cope by banking sperm and being thankful that you'll never get kicked in the balls again.
6. I don't think they do, tbh
7. You get hard. your orgasm. nothing comes out.

[mcintoda]

If you’ve had this for years and are still here it’s likely not TC. But please— don’t take chances with your life. If you feel a hard mass on your testicle you need to see a doctor. TC is highly curable in the early stages. It doesn’t make sense to be taking about chemo and treatments without a diagnosis.

If you need help taking to your parents we’d be happy to help you write a letter or email.

When you go to the doc they will probably want to palpate it- no big deal. The ultrasound they will take you into an ultrasound room and lay down. The scrotum will be exposed and they will place the imaging head on the scrotum. Honestly the docs and techs do this all day and don’t have any opinion of seeing your junk.

Life with one testicle is no big deal. Women could care less about testicles and one less is no different to them. (Source my wife)

[Davepet]

Everybody knows guys have testicles, even your sister. Your family will be mostly concerned that you are OK.It is only embarrassing for you, because this society has a taboo about discussing sex organs. We've done away with that in this forum . You just need to get over it, you have a problem, it *might* be TC, it might not, but if it *IS* TC, you need a doc sooner, not later. This sh!t can kill you, embarrassment is not an option.

To answer questions:
1- Testicles are extremely sensitive to damage from radiation, it is never used directly, in fact radiation therapy to the abdomen requires special shielding for the testicle(s).

2-The risk of spreading the cancer during the operation is just too high. You would be hard pressed to find a doc willing to try & for good reason. It's dangerous.

3- I believe it varies from case to case.

4-You have no idea if you need chemo, but some guys have changes in hair after chem & others do not. Worry about this if you get a recommendation to have chemo, not before. The number of guys needing chemo after a TC Dx is quite low these days.

5- Having no testicles isn't as bad as you'd think, but the real truth is that life will throw you many curves, you learn to deal with each & every one of them in turn.

6- No competent doc will do a partial. You want the traitor out of your body. Even guys that had a proper I/O sometimes recur, would you really want that guy around, you won't ever feel safe.

7- Sex is no different than with testicles. If you need RPLND surgery you may or may not have dry ejaculation, but unless that happens, nothing changes.Feels just as good either way.

Also, you somehow seem to be assuming you will lose both guys, even before you know if you will lose one.mWhyn is that???

[vpirh]

I can comment about 5 because this is something I have dealt with. For months after the surgery all I can think of was what if injury, torsion, cancer or same thing that took my first ball happens again. The truth is that you cannot predict what will or will not happen. All you can control is how you deal with it. At the moment I have settled on a plan of what I will do if something happens and take precautions not to get any injury, that’s really all you can do.

[ICU-RN]

Hey- As someone currently going through this right now, I can tell you that if you are really concerned about this, then go to a doctor, tell your mom, do whatever you need to do. 50% of the world has testicles, and the doctor that will examine you has seen way more than you can possibly imagine. While you may be embarrassed, there is no need to be. Yes, they will place a gel directly on your scrotum and do the ultrasound right there in the office. They are very professional; this is their job, they don't laugh, or joke, or embarrass you in any way (if they did, they could get in big trouble). I'd rather be slightly embarrassed and alive than the possible alternative. Stop worrying about being embarrassed. That should be the very LEAST of your concerns right now.Trust me; if you go to your mother with a serious demeanor and tell her that you are honestly concerned about something down there, she is going to help you.

And as for what "rock hard" means-- it means just that. The testicle is rock hard. Image if your testicle was replaced by a small piece of gravel. That's what happened to me. One day I noticed that it was really hard, and it was impossible to ignore. Now it's been removed (4 days ago), it appears to be caught early, and I'm waiting to see what further treatment I need. If I had waited months and months because I was embarrassed, then that would have possibly given it time to spread and become much worse. Early detection and treatment is KEY! Go to the doctor!

As for your questions:

1) Radiotherapy is not like a scalpel; it does not cut like a knife with pinpoint accuracy.
2) The testicle is one unit. Just like they cannot remove half of your heart and expect your to live with the just the other half pumping, your testicle will not work with only one half of it working. Plus, if there is cancer pervading the tissue, trying to cut the tumor can send little tumor shards out throughout the body, causing it to spread. Removing the entire testicle is the only way to ensure the entire tumor is removed.
3) It an grow from anywhere. Inside, outside, on the tubes, etc.
4) Who said you're going to have chemo? And hypothetically, if you did, then your hair usually grows back normally after treatment. There are very few cases of any hair issues afterwards. Again; would you rather have thinner hair, or be dead? If you had a worst case scenario and your hair grew back differently, you could deal with it and move on. You can't move past being dead.
5) If you go early, meaning you ignore your embarrassment and stop worrying about things that don't matter as much as your life (such as hair patterns), then even if it is cancer you will most likely lose only one testicle. If you lose both, that would not be ideal, but you would be alive. Testosterone replacement therapy would help with the hormones, and you can bank your sperm to have babies in the future. You can still get erections and still have orgasms. You just wouldn't ejaculate any sperm.
6) there is no such thing as a partial orchiectomy.
7) See number 5. Sex is fine, and less messy.

[Scaredycat]

Thank you guys for your answers.I will reply back in a text according to what you all said.

Sex with no balls means only the prostatic fluid will come out? The testicles produce the sperm that will travel and make the woman pregnant but what about the thick matter? No balls = still seminal fluid? And I guess there’s still some pleasure because of the sensitive nerves on the gland.

I know it looks that I’m already assuming that I’ll lose both of my boys and the reason is that my left one hurts too with a pain that comes and goes.

The embarrassing thing is that I have this lump since probably more than 4 years. My parents and the doctor will ask me since when could I feel a lump and the answer will be a disaster! They will be surprised and find it very stupid that I kept this for myself. That’s why I’m scared to tell them. I doubt I wouldn’t get chemo if it’s cancer and waiting 4+ years to see a doctor about that. That’s why I talked about chemo. Btw, does chemo make your teeth fall?

I’m also embarrassed of going to the doctor because of the hair down there. I’ll become all sweaty and my face will be red. Like can I just show my balls and not my penis. If not, I’ll try to get it hard before she (my family doctor) examine me. I read it’s difficult to get it hard under stress so I’m gonna try before. Even during the ultrasound. It’s not microscopic I just prefer the erect size! She’ll prob refer me to an urologist. I will let them know that I’m shy and uncomfortable.

So that wouldn’t work?: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/..._fig1_49692266

I read that a testicular transplant is possible but they don’t do it because of ethical reasons and it’s pretty delicate and difficult. And the patient will probably need anti-rejection medications for the rest of his life. The transplanted testicle will always make the donor’s sperm (I think?) but at least the possibility of a normal ejaculation is real. Now if you tell me a man can still climax and ejaculate some fluid (after removal of both balls) then it’s different. Do you think a surgeon will agree to do a transplant if the patient is seriously psychially impaired by the fact of having no testicles. I respect all of you who went through this unfortunate experience. It seems so difficult. I tried to cover everything in one message.

Thank you

[Scaredycat]

Anyone please?

[Skywalker]

So, I don't know if any of this will be helpful to you but I'm going to give it a shot. Full disclosure, I'm a woman on here behalf of my husband but I'm also a mom to two boys. No one on here can tell you whether or not you have cancer. You are obviously very anxious and have valid concerns about your testicles. As someone with a lot of generalized medical anxiety, I can tell you that the only way you are going to feel any better about this is to have them properly checked out.

You will probably have to see a primary care doctor, a urologist, and get an ultrasound. Yes, they will look at and probably feel your testicles and it will be awkward/ uncomfortable. I was present for all of my husbands exams so I can tell you his experience. The primary care doctor just examined him briefly, confirmed a problem and referred him for ultrasound. The ultrasound tech always tried to be very respectful and had him cover up everything but the testicle they were scanning. They will scan both sides even if you only had an issue with one. The urologists (we have seen a couple) do a more thorough physical examination because it's their specialty and they know more about what conditions feel like. None of these things are comfortable but I don't think they will be as horrible as your are imagining. Just tell yourself that they are all medical professionals and they see these things all day long. I really don't think it phases them or they think twice about it, especially for the urologists. The patients in the urology office usually tend to be older men so I think it's more of a rarity/ change of pace when they see a younger person and a TC cancer case.

As far as your parents and your family are concerned, I am sure they would rather have you be healthy than avoiding medical treatment due to the nature of the problem. Tell your mom, ask her to keep it as private as possible, and get yourself to a doctor.

As far as the rest of your questions, you are getting way ahead of yourself. Take it one step at a time. I will say it would be pretty crazy for you to have had TC cancer for 4 years without having any others symptoms, especially at the speed it spreads but obviously know one can know this without medical treatment and no idea what is going on with your other testicle.

Getting diagnosed with testicular cancer is terrifying and there are a lot of unpleasant things about it but it's highly curable. If you have it, in all likelihood, you will be able to receive treatment, get cured, and move on with your life. You may lose one or both testicles, you may need to bank sperm, sex may not happen exactly the way you imagine it should but you will be alive to have kids if you want them live your life and to still have pleasurable sex. Please go to the doctor and try to stop "catastrophizing." The reality of the experience and whatever is going on with you will not be as bad as torturing yourself and the anxiety you are currently experiencing.

Good luck!

[ICU-RN]

Thank you guys for your answers.I will reply back in a text according to what you all said.

Sex with no balls means only the prostatic fluid will come out? The testicles produce the sperm that will travel and make the woman pregnant but what about the thick matter? No balls = still seminal fluid? And I guess there’s still some pleasure because of the sensitive nerves on the gland.

I know it looks that I’m already assuming that I’ll lose both of my boys and the reason is that my left one hurts too with a pain that comes and goes.

The embarrassing thing is that I have this lump since probably more than 4 years. My parents and the doctor will ask me since when could I feel a lump and the answer will be a disaster! They will be surprised and find it very stupid that I kept this for myself. That’s why I’m scared to tell them. I doubt I wouldn’t get chemo if it’s cancer and waiting 4+ years to see a doctor about that. That’s why I talked about chemo. Btw, does chemo make your teeth fall?

I’m also embarrassed of going to the doctor because of the hair down there. I’ll become all sweaty and my face will be red. Like can I just show my balls and not my penis. If not, I’ll try to get it hard before she (my family doctor) examine me. I read it’s difficult to get it hard under stress so I’m gonna try before. Even during the ultrasound. It’s not microscopic I just prefer the erect size! She’ll prob refer me to an urologist. I will let them know that I’m shy and uncomfortable.

So that wouldn’t work?: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/..._fig1_49692266

I read that a testicular transplant is possible but they don’t do it because of ethical reasons and it’s pretty delicate and difficult. And the patient will probably need anti-rejection medications for the rest of his life. The transplanted testicle will always make the donor’s sperm (I think?) but at least the possibility of a normal ejaculation is real. Now if you tell me a man can still climax and ejaculate some fluid (after removal of both balls) then it’s different. Do you think a surgeon will agree to do a transplant if the patient is seriously psychially impaired by the fact of having no testicles. I respect all of you who went through this unfortunate experience. It seems so difficult. I tried to cover everything in one message.

Thank you

Hi Scaredycat;

I don't mind trying to help, but I don't really think you're going to find exactly what you want here. We cannot tell you if you have cancer or not (and I'm an intensive care nurse), and we cannot really do much to help you with your embarrassment. All I can say is that you should not care about the doctor seeing your private area, that is LITERALLY their job and a urologist probably sees hundreds of testicles a week. They don't care about your hair, your sweat, or the size of your penis. Doctors and nurses will not make fun of you or tease you and do anything embarrassing or unprofessional regarding your private area. Trying to plan on going to the doctor with an erection just so your penis doesn't look small seems like an incredible waste of time and energy. Is ensuring that the doctor thinks you have a big penis more important than ensuring you don't have cancer, or getting the proper treatment if you do? Take a deep breath, man up, and go to the doctor... remember, you're an adult, you're 19, not 9. I know cancer can be scary, but you seem more focused on the embarrassment of showing your reproductive organs than on the actual possibility of cancer. As much as I want to help, we cannot do anything to help with your embarrassment, except to say to almost all of us have been through it, and it's not a big deal.

And during my ultrasound, yes, they covered my penis with a towel and only exposed my testicles, so you don't have to worry so much about that. But even if that wasn't the case, just remember; everyone is there to help you, it's their job, you really need to not worry about the aspect of the examination. So far I've have an U/S and a manual examination by the doctor, and I think my private area has been exposed for less than 5 minutes total... more if you include my orchiectomy surgery, but I was asleep for that.

As for testicular transplant; no, you will not get one. Doctors do not do it. In the history of medicine, it has only been done once, and it was two identical twins, one with testicles and the other without for some reason; the one twin donated one ball. No doctor will ever transplant a testicle for anyone, unfortunately that includes you. For many reasons; 1) the risks outweigh the benefits, 2) various ethical reasons, including that the testicle will always make the donor sperm 3) sperm banking, testosterone replacement therapy, and other medications and procedures can ensure a healthy sex life and ability to have children without the transplant.

Just remember, you don't even know if you have cancer, let alone in one ball, or two. I think you are overthinking things, but to answer your question, yes, with hormone replacement therapy you can get erections and have sex even with no testicles. Yes, you can still ejaculate some prostate fluid, but there will be no semen of course. Again; you definitely cannot ejaculate at all if you're dead.

Again, I understand being scared; the possibility of cancer is unnerving. Trust me, I had anxiety and other problems as well, but I'm more scared of dying so I rushed to the doctor as soon as I thought anything could possibly be wrong. You don't even know if you have cancer; using Dr. Google can only make things worse for you, and will only heighten you anxiety. The only way to know anything for sure is to suck it up, go to the doctor, and show them your balls and let them test you. With any luck you'll find out that it's all nothing, and you are perfectly fine! And if it does turn out to be something, you'll be a LOT happier if you go to the doctor and get it checked early; the longer you wait, the more it can spread and cause problems.

So in a nutshell, put down the computer and go talk to your parents and/or doctor, and get checked out as soon as possible. That's really the only thing we can suggest that can ease your mind. Go to the doctor, and then afterwards come back here and let us all know what they said; we are all rooting for you!

[Scaredycat]

But what do I say when my parents ask me why didn’t I tell them before? The reason is that I’m so scared of the diagnosis so I’m pushing moment. I know I need to get past the embarrassment and I’ll do my best. Always better than too late and it spreading everywhere and doctor says "1 month to live".

Will any women still want to be in a relationship with me if none of my balls are remaining? I’m talking about a quality woman.

Not gonna ask more stuff about testosterone replacement therapy and ability to build muscle even if I have a question but like what you all said "one thing at a time".

Thx

[eodtech2001]

Stop nit picking the what ifs. You are driving yourself crazy. Just swallow your pride go talk to your parents and the doctor. All those other questions you keep bringing up may not even be an issue.
The bottom line is we will help you but as others have said we can not diagnose you nor can we fix your mental dilemmas until you have the facts and not what ifs.

[ICU-RN]

But what do I say when my parents ask me why didn’t I tell them before? The reason is that I’m so scared of the diagnosis so I’m pushing moment. I know I need to get past the embarrassment and I’ll do my best. Always better than too late and it spreading everywhere and doctor says "1 month to live".

Will any women still want to be in a relationship with me if none of my balls are remaining? I’m talking about a quality woman.

Not gonna ask more stuff about testosterone replacement therapy and ability to build muscle even if I have a question but like what you all said "one thing at a time".

Thx

Just stick to the truth. You were embarrassed to bring it up before. Simple. But honestly, who cares about that? They are going to be concerned about your health, they aren't going to be yelling at you for waiting a little while. You seriously need to stop worrying about embarrassment and about what your parents are going to say, and just go do it. Every day you waste asking us about what to say is another day that you could've been getting results and/or treatment. And again, all this worrying might even be for nothing! You are only going to get more and more anxious and scared the longer you wait. Just go already!

Don't worry about women. It's not like your balls are going to be a topic on a first date. And look at what you said: "I mean a quality woman". OK. What is your definition of quality? Any woman who dumps a guy because he had a testicle removed because of cancer is NOT a quality woman in my book. I know you're 19, so to you "quality" probably just means "hot", but trust me, there is more to a woman than that. And believe me, there are WAY more women that will want a man with no testicles then there are women who want to date a dead man. Just remember: you can't date ANYBODY if you're a corpse! Yes, you will find women. Yes, you will date. Yes, you will have sex and possibly even father children. And yes, you will find a "quality" woman. Stop worrying about all that and go to a doctor!

My wife married me when I had two balls, and she loves me the same now that I have only one. We still plan on having more children, and everything is a happy as can be. She's the highest quality woman I could ever dream of.

Yes you can build muscles after losing a ball. Yes you can become a bodybuilder, get in shape, etc. Just go to youtube and look up judgment day fitness, a lifter who had cancer and blogged about his fitness, his cancer, his treatment, and his recovery and exercise afterwards. Look up Furious Pete on youtube, another lifter with TC who vlogs about his recovery and lifting regimen. Life can be almost perfectly normal, with or without testicles. Again, you have to be alive to be able to lift.

Stop asking questions that don't matter and please go get yourself checked out. We can't really give you any more advice than that. I know you're scared, but I don't believe we can give you the answers you need. The most important thing is to get checked and make sure you are going to live first; everything else will follow that.

[Scaredycat]

Okay thanks everyone I swear I’m gonna tell them today.

[Herrjoel]

Okay thanks everyone I swear I’m gonna tell them today.

Well...did you tell them?