2x seminoma survivor, looking for friend and resources for iui or IVF

[Lunchbawks]

Hello all, Newbie here, I am a survivor like many of you are, i lost my left testicle to a seminoma in 2006, and the right one 10 years later (exactly one month after i was taken off of surveillance)

I have been toldthat getting TC 2 times in almost unheard of. But can happen. I do have to say, afte r the second diagnosis, I have been reduced to something that is barely a shell of what i used to be, depression hit me hard and has not left. The biggest reason is that ever since i was a young boy i always wanted to be a father, and i am one, my signifficant other has a child with another man who has decided to not be a part of the little ones life and i immedietely and gladly assumed that role. However, There is a hole in my heart when it comes to that, About 2 months before my sec0onds diagnosis me and my fiancee and girlfriend of almost 20 years (we started dating when i was 13 years old, had a 2 year break which lead to her having a child, and then came back together., So it was sort of a blessing in disguise. Right now at this point in my life i am expending about 95% of my energy trying to find chritable funding to help pay for artificial insemination procedures.

Has anyon else with a dual orchiectomy done IUI or IVF with their signifficant other? Do any of you know of resources for people in my situation? Any help or advice would be much appreciated, this whols situation with me suddenly becoming sterile has sorta ruined my life plans, and i have no idea how to recover from such things. Thanks a bunch! Having children, and having a child and experiencing the whole process from beginning to end is something i have wanted ever since my teenage years, any advice on how to procure funding or pro bon work wouold be amazing.

[eodtech2001]

First let me say this. Having a child through birthing is NOT the only way to be a dad. Secondly i lost my right 1 getting wounded in Afghanistan and then lost my other 1 to cancer so i am in the same boat as you are. Thirdly, and i mean this witj all the love and respect i can give you, cheer the hell up its not the end of the world "see firstly".
Now on to other ways to have children through birthing or other means. If you have a bother, cousin etc... They would be an ideal candidate to get has biologically as close to your own sperm. When that was first purposed to us by a urologist i thought she was outta her dam mind
But it does make sense.
Lastly i had a son from a previous marriage, so i do not have the longing and urge like you do and i do feel for you and truly understand, because my wife now of 14 yrs wanted children. But we both agreed that so many kids need heros to step in and be dad amd mom. I will listen anytime you need to vent.

Norm

[Davepet]

Sorry to welcome you to a very exclusive club.

I can't add much to EDO's excellent advice. My RPLND left me retro, so without extraordinary measures, I was destined to not be a dad. I'm assuming you did not bank sperm?

We have a surprising number of 2x guys on this forum. Unfortunately our ranks keep growing. My theory is now that we are surviving #1 for many years, we are likely to see more guys with #2.

Anyway, this is a good place to hang out, & if anyone has any ideas on the financial aid angle, I'm sure they will be along after a bit.

Dave

[Lunchbawks]

Hello,and thanks for the responses. To answer your question Dave, I did do banking, The only real hurdle we have is the financial aspect of artificial insemination. And my fiance does have a child,Whom i consider my own as i have raised since before she could walk. as far as having a child that is my own biological offspring. It is preferred, but by no means a deciding factor in how we pursue parenthood. I am actually inclined to use a donor so that i can decrease chances of having these problems with any children i have, as well as other issues that i would prefer not get passed further into the collective gene pool . So to be clear, Adoption, Sperm donors, Any sort of means to achieving parenthood is on the table. Although there is a huge preference that my wife carry the child herself as we prefer to share that experience together. as i said previously the biggest and seemingly insurmountable hurdle for us is the financial aspect of it, And if adoption proved to be much more financially feasible then we would definitely consider that equally. No method or route to parenthood is off the table.

One of the big mistakes i made was not making my yearly payments towards the storage of my sperm, i am 10 years behind on payments due to a miscommunication with a now defunct charity and me not paying attention. Depression really got the best of me for about 5 years after the first diagnosis and i kind of let most of the important things slip by. but in the grand scheme of things, if i am paying for the artificial insemination route, Whether it be IUI or IVF, what is a few extra thousand dollars. Honestly the only consideration being made as to whether or not we should use my own sperm is weighing the risks of passing down any undesired medical conditions (Not just cancer related, There are other issues for us to consider as well.

We haven't really gotten anywhere in this process and we are in the preliminary stages of it, IE, researching doctors and deciding where to go for said procedures, finding funding, ECT.

Does anyone out there know of any charities, foundations,Loan agencies that specialize in this sort of thing, or any methods of raising money for such a thing? I already talked to livestrong, and they agreed to pay for the fertility medications for my wife,but they are also requiring that we go to the mayo clinic here in Minnesota. which does not really make sense for us as there is no real benefit of going there as opposed to another clinic that is much closer to us because mayo clinic costs about 50% more than the next cheapest clinic. So financially it's a wash. My biggest focus right now is finding the funding whether its borrowing, or getting grants. Any lead anyone has for such a thing is much appreciated. If it helps, i live in the Minneapolis metro area.

[biwi]

Funny, I am in MN as well.

I was only born with one. in 2015 6 months after the birth of our first child I was diagnosed with TC. I immediately banked. I consulted with experts and they said that other than count, sperm themselves are generally not affected by TC and having children with sperm banked while having TC is not risky. My numbers were really low, eliminating AI or IUI from contention. Only option was IVF with ICSI. My wife and I went through that process once I received my all clear. Round 1 of a retrieval and transfer resulted in a miscarrage at 8 weeks. A second retrieval and transfer resulted in a healthy boy born last spring. We still have extra embryo's in storage and are considering another transfer for a 3rd child this year. We'll see.

Having no testicles (but being on TRT - this is important!) in no way "ruins life plans". Having a child isn't going to fix your life either. You need to find yourself and where you want your future. You need to pick yourself up and get more motivated and find and seek things that bring you joy. Trust me, a newborn, while a ton of joy, doesn't make life easier in any respect. It is work, sleepless nights, new stresses with your significant other, and more. But it is also very rewarding at the same time.

Back to the subject at hand. If your counts are high in your stored samples or you use "donor" samples, AI or IUI are on the table assuming that your wife has no fertility issues. That is alot cheaper than IVF. I put donor in quotes because donors get paid to deposit, its not a true donation.
These guys have a location in the cities: https://fairfaxcryobank.com/fees. A regular doctor can do AI in a lab, you don't even need a fertility clinic really. If you are a candidate for IUI or IVF, these guys are good: https://ivfminnesota.com/

The financial aspect is very real, especially with IVF. I could buy a nice sports car with our IVF payments so far. But kids were first, I'll keep working hard for that sports car next.

There are outfits that will loan you money for fertility. Just like any other creditor, rates and availability will vary based on your credit score and income. Also, check with your health insurance provider, a small portion will actually cover some amount of fertility treatments.

Honest question - why do you feel that you are a charity case and incapable of paying for this yourself? I know it is expensive, but its not much more expensive than a decent vehicle and a lot less than a college education. Everyone is capable of raising their income, it sometimes takes some effort, risk, and perseverance though.