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  • Delayed Dealing

    I am finally coming to a point of breaking.... Maybe its because I am dwelling of the fact that the only way I can have kids someday is to buy them. Purchase them like any other item I would find at a store, although it is not the same. Unlike that shiny new watch, or that hat you had your eye on, this purchase will rely on your income for the rest of their natural life. This purchase is also an unknown, you can spend thousands of dollars without knowing if it will work, or if it will ever work. Oh the stress of #TCX2 . My current situation is trying to pay for my health bills, while stressed, while working while stressed, while driving while stressed, while crashing (my wife and I two separate occasions, separate vehicles) 2 cars... you guessed it while stressed.
    We were progressing rather nicely before TC struck again, we were even audacious enough to think that we could afford to go on a vacation (mostly paid by my parents whom received money from my grandparents passing). But now, we are up to our hair in debt, in stress, and in life. I feel weak, I want to handle all this on my own, I don't know how to ask for help.
    What could help right now is a brainstorm... I need ideas. I am a college drop out (yea 3 classes short) my wife just finished college (she is a lot younger than I.

    #1 brainstorm idea: What do I do about paying for children? (I have always wanted to be a Dad)

    #2 What to do about all this medical debt? (I feel like I am drowning under it)

    #3 How do I deal? (I usually hold up every ones burdens and feel like I have no one to talk to)



    ​Kyle
    First Orchiectomy 5/2012
    BEP Chemo 6/2012-9/2012

    Second Orchiectomy 8/2015
    TRT by 2 Androderm Patches.

  • #2
    Hey Kyle,

    My sympathies to what you're going through. I know we have different situations, but I have been feeling tremendous anxiety over my recent diagnosis of TC. I'm a medical resident with tons of debt, and the last thing I want to do is return to the hospital to work (which gives me horrible flashbacks). I feel I have to in order to finish my medical training and make a living. I've heard therapy can be helpful and I am currently seeking that myself. I feel it can't hurt and a therapist can offer some solutions and order into these types of situations.
    Diagnosed at age 31. Treated in NYC. Now living in Ottawa, ON, Canada.

    7/1/2015: felt tiny lump on side of R testicle
    7/30/2015: Ultrasound shows 2 intra-testicular masses.
    7/31/2015: tumor markers normal, CXR clear
    8/5/2015: R orchiectomy
    8/11/2015: Pathology: 1.2 x 1.0 x 1.0 cm, embryonal 80%, seminoma 20%, with LVI and rete testis invasion
    8/14/2015: CT abdomen/pelvis clear, Stage 1b
    8/24/2015: started 1 x BEP

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    • #3
      http://www.tc-cancer.com/forum/forum...elayed-dealing

      Mate - so I guess there was no option or opportunity for some Sperm Banking.? We know where you are and for me the first was - well lets get it sorted and the second hit me like a truck, but a few years on and having to deal with the crap I tried to get positive and now I an really good, we all react and approach things differently but you can get through this, you might need some help or support along the may but the team are here to share experiences and questions.

      We have a very different medical system in Australia but don get the same debt that you guys in the US are hit with - but try to be positive - it not now in the near future.
      >>>>>>>>>
      TC1: May 2001 / Right orchiectomy / seminoma stage 1 / Radiation
      TC2: July 2008 / Left orchiectomy / seminoma stage 1 / X2 Prostheses / Reandron (long term Testosterone injections)

      Comment


      • #4
        About #1, the cheapest way I can think of, is having a male friend donating their sperm (I'm assuming you didn't bank yours?). You could just do turkey baster and it will cost you $0. It's as effective as intercourse and if your male donor doesn't have any fertility issues as good as ICI. You'll be a dad as much as anyone else, just not a biological dad. There are many more options but they cost $$$
        10 aug 15 - Visit to PCP detects bump on right testicle after some discomfort
        17 aug 15 - Ultrasound reveals 1cm posterior upper mass on right testicle. Well defined w/ vascularity (age 39 at this moment)
        18 aug 15 - CT scan with normal results. Tumor markers normal.
        19 aug 15 - Urology visit recommends immediate right I/O. I want second opinion.
        24 aug 15 - Second opinion with outside Urologist. Decent chance of benign tumor (very well defined, paratesticular). Partial right I/O something to try.
        24 aug - 2 sep 15 - More 3rd, 4rd opinions concur on partial right I/O
        18 sep 15 - Partial right I/O. Tumor excised, waiting for pathology.
        25 sep 15 - Pathology in. Adenomatoid tumor. Bening tumor! No further treatment needed.
        16 nov 15 - New 1.5 x 1.0 x 0.8 cm bump found! Hematoma suspected.

        Comment


        • #5
          About #2 Most providers will negotiate with you a payment plan you can do. Also, many institutions have financial assistance programs if you are struggling financially. Ask around! It's easier than you may think. It just takes a lot of work and being proactive.
          10 aug 15 - Visit to PCP detects bump on right testicle after some discomfort
          17 aug 15 - Ultrasound reveals 1cm posterior upper mass on right testicle. Well defined w/ vascularity (age 39 at this moment)
          18 aug 15 - CT scan with normal results. Tumor markers normal.
          19 aug 15 - Urology visit recommends immediate right I/O. I want second opinion.
          24 aug 15 - Second opinion with outside Urologist. Decent chance of benign tumor (very well defined, paratesticular). Partial right I/O something to try.
          24 aug - 2 sep 15 - More 3rd, 4rd opinions concur on partial right I/O
          18 sep 15 - Partial right I/O. Tumor excised, waiting for pathology.
          25 sep 15 - Pathology in. Adenomatoid tumor. Bening tumor! No further treatment needed.
          16 nov 15 - New 1.5 x 1.0 x 0.8 cm bump found! Hematoma suspected.

          Comment


          • #6
            I was able to store sperm, 6 vials with like 100,000 in each. But it costs about $10,000 for each attempt. All this stress doesn't help me when I have all these emotional freak outs from making no Testosterone (I am taking TRT but as of yet my symptoms still continue). I really do appreciate all your support, I just hope I can find an alternative way in order to have children biologically that doesn't cost me my balls (which I don't have)

            Comment


            • #7
              Well, my first question for you is what are your T levels looking like on the patches? While low T levels don 't affect your bank account or ability to have children, they *CAN* affect how you deal with those problems emotionally. I expect you will find your levels are pretty low, even if inside the so-called "normal" range. Your life may look better if your T levels are "normal" for your age. Get it checked.

              Dave
              Jan, 1975: Right I/O, followed by RPLND
              Dec, 2009: Left I/O, followed by 3xBEP

              Comment


              • #8
                Sorry for all this - I get some of it.

                How old are you actually? You say your wife is very much younger than you - how young?

                So you DO have your OWN sperm on storage? Or not?

                What are your T levels now on TRT?

                Do you have health insurance?
                "More human than human is our motto...."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks for all the support everyone. Sorry for getting back so late. I was on the patches which did not work for me at all. My Testosterone was at 0, which I know have to stab myself with a 1.5 inch needle every week to inject testosterone. I hope this levels me out. Today, two days after the shot, I feel a little better. Yesterday I felt really bad, so it is up in the air if I am any better. I am 31, my wife is 21. i do have sperm stored 6 viles, and I do have insurance, so my debt is no so much, but it just adds on to the debt I had previously.. Just a jumbled mess right now.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Heath and money problems plus all the other thrills of life can cause so much stress that it becomes the problem. When I got to the end of my rope I talked to my GDoc about it. Anxiety, depression all that stuff. They have some good ways to deal with that so you can function (and not crash your cars!)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Firstly, I really think you need to talk with your Doctor. I haven't seen it mentioned on here but my husband had a very bad reaction to one of the anti nausea steroids which caused intense anxiety, panic attacks and depression. They took him off it for round 2 and his mental state is so much better. However, they did give him some anti anxiety meds too which have helped during the night when he's struggled to sleep because of the worry of it all. Of course this is a huge amount to deal with but perhaps the treatment is causing a more extreme reaction than you would normally have. My husband was a little nervous about talking to his oncologist about it but when he did it was a huge relief to know that he wasn't the only one who felt that way during treatment. Do you have a good relationship with your Doctors where you could talk to them? I wish you the best of luck x

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Kak584,

                        First lets make your weekly injections more comfortable - switch to 25Gx 5/8 (0.5mm x 6mm) needle. I used to use the monster 1.5 inch needles until I learned more from the Pro's.

                        With 100MG or more of T - once a week- you should get your levels up to around 500-600. That's the range to shoot for - as a minimum. It may take a few months of this to get your feet back under you. Once your levels are up - I suggest a good amount of exercise including weight lifting (check out a 5x5 program) to help with mood.

                        One of the benefits of being legally on TRT - is you can keep your hormones steady and high even as you age. In your 50's or 60's you can have the hormones of a 25 year old.

                        So you can have your own biological children - you have sperm stored. That's great news ! Most insurance will cover Artificial insemination for fertility issues. Some insurances and locations will also cover IVF - which provides even greater precision and success rates for guys with sperm stored. But unless your wife has health issues - she is young enough that simple AI should work.
                        Last edited by roybatty; 11-30-15, 08:49 AM.
                        "More human than human is our motto...."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks everyone for the responses!! Thanks Roy for letting me know about the 25GX needles, I am definitely going to try and grab some of those today, the last pharmacist made my needles larger... YUCK!!! I love to go to the gym but have not had the energy as of yet, say hello to 50 extra pounds with my desk job. I hope the insurance I have when we finally decide to have children will cover the IVF. I know my sperm count was really low for my samples so we have to do the route with the best success rate.

                          Thanks Bones and James C, for your concern, I do have somewhat good relationship with my Dr. But they kept telling me they couldn't prescribe anything to me for moods. So I have a physician in the Plant I work for and asked her and she gave me some anti-depressants the same day, So that helped me feel a whole lot better.

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