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Husband diagnosed....Looking for Support

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  • Husband diagnosed....Looking for Support

    My husband was diagnosed on Friday and since then everything has been a bit of a blur. There was an ultrasound/CT scan on Thursday night, he was diagnosed Friday, and then had surgery first thing on Saturday morning. I've stopped crying, at least the constant crying--the night we found out I went to the bathroom and cried so hard I threw up. He's been relatively calm about this all, but has also been sort of out of it and in a lot of pain since the surgery. There have been symptoms of spread (back pain) for the past few months now, but it kept getting blown off by the doctors until he had his physical and they noticed an abdominal mass (lymph nodes) and swelling in his left testicle.

    For the past few months the back pain has made him distant and snappy (this is not like him at all, so it was a red flag that something was wrong), so it's really sad but I'm getting used to not having my "normal" husband around, the guy I married. He's lost loads of weight, too. I miss him. I'm so scared, but I'm also a little relieved that now we know the cause of all the pain he was having and now we can tackle it.

    We have an 18-month old son and my husband keeps saying it's a good thing that he's so young because he won't remember any of this. I am trying so hard to remain positive and not be overly sad around our baby and keep things normal for him, and be there for my husband, while coping with my own emotions. We do have family around and they have been great, especially my mother-in-law. From all that I have read, testicular cancer is one of the most treatable cancers out there, but when we tell friends/coworkers everyone acts like this is the end of everything. One co-worker told me to get our Will done (probably true but that's not what you want to hear before your husband goes in for surgery.) Another well-meaning friend keeps sending me "inspirational" Facebook messages that make me, for some reason, irrationally angry.

    We are waiting on pathology now and should get the results by the end of the week. I feel sick and incapable. After his surgery, when my in-laws left the hospital, I wanted to cling to them and beg them to stay, because I don't know what to do for my husband. I feel selfish for having my own feelings when my husband is the one actually going through this. I feel helpless, I feel angry, I feel sad.

    Guess I'm just venting. I could really use perspective from others who have been though this.

  • #2
    All of us have or had it.I think that I was in worse situation than your husband.I didn't have girlfriend in that time,I wasn't married I don't have children.What to left behind me? Nothing.
    In most cases that would be seminoma.Seminoma has slow progression and after testicle it attack lymph nodes,not like non-seminoma vital organs like lungs,brain and liver.
    Famous Russian writer cured from that in time when chemo didn't included platinum.In that time seminoma had poor prognosis,of only 10%.But he in THAT TIME cured with good surgery,chemo and alternatives like chaga tea and the others.
    I wish to you all the best.
    Regards
    On left testicle.It was removed.Diagnose: malignant Sertoli–Leydig cell tumour in stage 3.I had mets in lymph,liver and lungs.I had 4xBEP.All cleared after that.Third month in remission.

    Comment


    • #3
      We are sort of new too..We are on our 2nd week of chemo. Stage 3 with lymph and lungs. They say it is still good prognosis. I just wanted to give you some support and let you know you are not alone. There are up and downs. The good news is that they seem to really have treatment narrowed down and know how to kill the cancer cells. Staying positive is hard but important (I am working on it still). Message me if you want to chat. hugs

      Comment


      • #4
        Dear Devlin, I can absolutely understand how you feel..I was in your situation few months ago! The only difference is that I was pregnant while my husband was diagnosed with TC. It was really difficult but please trust me! Stay positive! This form of cancer is one of the most curable even in late stages!
        My husband also had pain in his back and in his leg and also a swell in his neck. Doctors thought that the swell was a hematoma but it was a metastasis! He was IIIB and he did 4 cycles and a surgery RPLND before two months. Now he is ok and we are on surveillance. I was also so sad and confused and really afraid of what was happening! My husband was really calm and I was try to encourage him and don't let him know about my fears.
        I will say it again! Be positive and everything will be ok. In a few months you will just have a bad memory!! Try to find good doctors and ask for second opinion from centers of expertise.
        Don't hesitate to message me for more details.

        Comment


        • #5
          i was stage 2c or 3a june of 2015 with a wife and 6 month old. chemo and surgery were trying but now i'm effictively 1yr cancer free and feeling 100%.

          chances are very good your story goes similarly.
          6/5/15: bHCG 27,AFP 8.66, LDH 361, 5.6cm lymph node - Stage IIC
          6/16/15: Left I/O 85% EC, 10% chorio, 5% yolk sac opinion 2 (mayo) 90% EC, 10% yolk sac
          7/7/15: bHCG 56, AFP 42, LDH 322
          7/13/15 - 9/18/15: 4xEP
          10/1/15: bloodwork normal, ct scan shows 2 lymph nodes 1.0cm
          10/26/15: 2nd opinion on CT results - lymph nodes normal. Surveillance!
          4/6/16: 1.7cm X 1.5cm lymph node found with markers normal.
          4/20/16: RPLND @ IU - teratoma only!
          9/18/2017 all clears up to this date!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by biwi View Post
            i was stage 2c or 3a june of 2015 with a wife and 6 month old. chemo and surgery were trying but now i'm effictively 1yr cancer free and feeling 100%.

            chances are very good your story goes similarly.
            Thank you for the encouragement!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Vaan View Post
              Dear Devlin, I can absolutely understand how you feel..I was in your situation few months ago! The only difference is that I was pregnant while my husband was diagnosed with TC. It was really difficult but please trust me! Stay positive! This form of cancer is one of the most curable even in late stages!
              My husband also had pain in his back and in his leg and also a swell in his neck. Doctors thought that the swell was a hematoma but it was a metastasis! He was IIIB and he did 4 cycles and a surgery RPLND before two months. Now he is ok and we are on surveillance. I was also so sad and confused and really afraid of what was happening! My husband was really calm and I was try to encourage him and don't let him know about my fears.
              I will say it again! Be positive and everything will be ok. In a few months you will just have a bad memory!! Try to find good doctors and ask for second opinion from centers of expertise.
              Don't hesitate to message me for more details.
              Originally posted by Vaan View Post
              Dear Devlin, I can absolutely understand how you feel..I was in your situation few months ago! The only difference is that I was pregnant while my husband was diagnosed with TC. It was really difficult but please trust me! Stay positive! This form of cancer is one of the most curable even in late stages!
              My husband also had pain in his back and in his leg and also a swell in his neck. Doctors thought that the swell was a hematoma but it was a metastasis! He was IIIB and he did 4 cycles and a surgery RPLND before two months. Now he is ok and we are on surveillance. I was also so sad and confused and really afraid of what was happening! My husband was really calm and I was try to encourage him and don't let him know about my fears.
              I will say it again! Be positive and everything will be ok. In a few months you will just have a bad memory!! Try to find good doctors and ask for second opinion from centers of expertise.
              Don't hesitate to message me for more details.

              Thank you! It's always helpful and encouraging to hear about other people that are in/were in similar situations.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Devlin, my husband is coming up to his first year so its not long ago that we were in your situation. A few things - everybody hears the term cancer and freaks out. Truth is that is an umbrella term for a number of different types and if you read up you will see that TC is hugely treatable. Its not pleasant but it is treatable. My husband actually preferred not to tell people in the end as he couldnt stand the drama - thats obviously your choice to make. Im so sorry your husband has been suffering for some time but at least now you know and can start the process of treatment and cure. This forum was an absolute crutch during this period for my husband, there are a few of us wives on here and its an incredibly supportive and informative group. Post often, ask plenty of questions and know there is a whole gang here rooting for you! Take care xxx

                Comment


                • #9
                  Just want to spend my encouragement and support as a fellow wife and mother. Please provide an update when you can. All the best... xxx

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rickandsabri View Post
                    Just want to spend my encouragement and support as a fellow wife and mother. Please provide an update when you can. All the best... xxx

                    Thanks. Oncologist told him to "plan to be cured." Then he was hospitalized with high calcium due to dehydration. Between trying to take care of and be there for him, and working, and being there for our little guy, I feel stretched thin. One day at a time, though, right?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Bones View Post
                      Hi Devlin, my husband is coming up to his first year so its not long ago that we were in your situation. A few things - everybody hears the term cancer and freaks out. Truth is that is an umbrella term for a number of different types and if you read up you will see that TC is hugely treatable. Its not pleasant but it is treatable. My husband actually preferred not to tell people in the end as he couldnt stand the drama - thats obviously your choice to make. Im so sorry your husband has been suffering for some time but at least now you know and can start the process of treatment and cure. This forum was an absolute crutch during this period for my husband, there are a few of us wives on here and its an incredibly supportive and informative group. Post often, ask plenty of questions and know there is a whole gang here rooting for you! Take care xxx

                      Thanks! We are only telling select people too--people freaking out does NOT make us feel good, for sure.

                      Comment

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