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cant help but wonder why me?

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  • cant help but wonder why me?

    i know cancer doesnt discriminate but cant help but wonder why me.

    now that i'm back to work i can help but think this. i've also had numerous people tell me that i was/am like one of the healthiest people in the whole place. i'm in my early 30's.


    as i take a look around at people it makes me wonder. there are about 75% the people are over weight. some smoke. tv dinners are frequient at lunch. i see no one eating fruit or vegtables. the amount of salt people can put on their food makes my head spin.

    i work next to the vending machines and i have never purchased pop or food out of there. we call the food machine the wheel of death. i see people everyday eating out of there. it makes me sick.

    i know life's not fair but this just isnt fair.

  • #2
    Originally posted by RyanRyan View Post
    i know life's not fair but this just isnt fair.
    You're right, it isn't. And yet it happened, and we move onward and upward!
    Scott, scott@tc-cancer.com
    right inguinal orchiectomy 6/5/2003 > nonseminoma, stage I > surveillance > L-RPLND 6/24/2005 for recurrence, suspected teratoma but found seminoma, stage II > chylous ascites until 9/2005 > surveillance and "all clear" since


    Your donation funds LIVESTRONG Foundation services for people facing cancer now. Please join me!

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    • #3
      Yes,
      I don't want to start a pity party here. Its just some of the thought that run throughj my head.

      I also think a lot about the good things and how I'm gona fight back and be healthier than I was going in on this all.

      Comment


      • #4
        Everyone on the board has moments like this - it's totally natural.

        For what it's worth, from everything I've learned about TC, it doesn't seem to be a lifestyle-driven type of cancer. In other words, unlike e.g. lung, liver and oral cancers, smoking/drinking/poor eating/lack of exercise don't seem to be significant risk factors. But a healthy lifestyle is always a good idea and you'll surely reap the rewards of it in many other ways throughout your lifetime. Keep on just saying no to that wheel of death (hilarious!) .
        Husband Shaun diagnosed March 2010. AFP 4571, HCG 3340.
        6cm x 6cm x 8cm retroperitoneal mass + 1cm nodule in right lung.
        Stage IIIb, Intermediate Risk.
        Left I/O March 9/10: 75% EC, 20% Teratoma, 5% Yolk Sac + Seminoma.
        3xBEP + 1xEP March 15 - May 21/10: markers normal.
        Bilateral RPLND July 28/10: 9.5 x 7 x 4.5cm mass, teratoma only.
        Chylous Ascites Aug/Sep.
        November 2012 All Clear
        Continuously monitoring 0.9 x 1.7cm omental nodule (possible fat necrosis)

        www.teamshaun.wordpress.com

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        • #5
          Originally posted by RyanRyan View Post
          as i take a look around at people it makes me wonder. there are about 75% the people are over weight. some smoke. tv dinners are frequient at lunch. i see no one eating fruit or vegtables. the amount of salt people can put on their food makes my head spin.
          Be sure this kind of people will have a far shorter life than you.
          - early Apr/11: something is "wrong" in my righty
          - 16/Apr/11: ultrasound find a mass in it
          - 27/Apr/11: right I/O
          - 29/Apr/11: stadiation CT scan shows "all clear"
          - May/11: pathology: 1 cm Seminoma (90% necrotic), no RT/LV invasion
          - Surveillance....
          - March/13: relapse - para aortic node 1.7 cm, waiting for treatment...

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          • #6
            It seems, from my run through the literature over the past year and few months, that TC is generally too rare and "unimportant" (bigger fish to fry - prostate, etc) for researchers to develop substantial enough studies to attribute any sort of causality (they cite risk factors but no causal links). However, when those who prognosticate do so, they usually point to environmental factors, often including in utero exposure, as potential culprits.

            While you specifically may be an outlier in this one regard, rest assured that your unhealthy coworkers will, as a cohort, fare far worse when compared against people with lifestyles like yours. Conversely, getting TC obviously doesn't make you immune to heart diease, diabetes, etc. (in fact, many studies show that patients treated with chemo or radiation are more predisposed to many maladies), so it's imperative that you keep on with a healthy lifestyle.

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            • #7
              I feel qualified to comment on this. I know this is an old thread, but I feel like I need to leave this here anyway...

              I was diagnosed at the age of 4 and it has since been 36 years. I spent many of those years being depressed and narcissistic - partially as a result of TC and partially due to how I was raised. One of the most powerful things I've learned since then is this...

              "Why me?" is almost always the wrong question to ask. "What can I gain from this?" or "Who will this allow me to serve?" or "Is God challenging me to step up and be bigger person?" are usually more enlightening things to ask.

              These types of questions have led me to change the story I tell myself about my cancer. It was, without a doubt, the most awful experience of my life. While it didn't come until later, the result was perspective. I have greater compassion for the poor, the elderly and anyone who suffers because I know what it's like to hurt. I have a greater desire to help those people, which in turn completely changes how I feel about myself. It makes me feel like my life matters - like what I do with it actually matters. And that, to me, is a gift.

              I believe that someday we will all know the answer to "why me?" but until then, there are others who can benefit from your knowledge and experience.

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