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Marriage and kids after tc cancer?

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  • Marriage and kids after tc cancer?

    This is my biggest issue right now.Soon I will probably go to chemoterapy and I'm not afraid at all.But,what after?
    I'm still pretty young and not married.How will girls respond after they realize you can't have kids?
    I have doubts about saving sperm,is it worth it?
    Is it possible to find someone and still have happy life,with big risk not having kids?

  • #2
    What makes you think you can't have kids? Chemo doesn't mean you can't have kids, there is a risk of it but it's not going to happen definitely.

    Yes 100% sperm bank, why would you have doubts? There is no down side to it at all unless you can't afford it. When you sperm bank they will tell you if you have healthy sperm, if you do there is a reasonable chance you can have kids naturally, even with chemo.

    I can't answer the last question. I don't have a girlfriend either and relatively young, but I hope so yep. Hopefully for the right person for me, cancer shouldn't put them off, and if you sperm bank there is always a way to have kids.
    24 year old diagnosed 6/11/16
    Pre/o markers 9/11/16 - HCG 15, AFP 210, LDH 539
    Pre/o CT Clear
    Non-seminoma (80% embryonal carcinoma, 10% yolk sac tumour, 5% chorea carcinoma, 5% seminoma)
    Post-op markers - 14/12/16 - HCG 35, AFP 1050, LDH 430
    Post-op CT with one enlarged lymph node - 1.5x1cm
    Borderline stage 2B/3B
    BEPx3 started 15/12/16 (Borderline BEPx4 - Advise of Dr. E to only do 3 rounds)
    CT and markers clear - in remission - 28/2/16


    • #3
      You should save sperm. Why not?! Especially if having kids matters to you (it sounds like it does).

      Also, there are plenty of people nowadays who don't want kids. If you can, it's not a problem. And if you can't, you'll still be able to find your special someone. Don't worry about that. Getting through chemo is tough, so don't let that weigh on you too.
      11/16/16 Went to primary care complaining of testicular pain. Wrongly diagnosed with epididymitis. Told not to worry, it'll go away on its own.
      12/8/16 Diagnosed with TC in left testicle.
      12/9/16 Left I/O.
      1/5/17 Tumor Markers officially back to normal -- Stage 1A with 70% EC.
      1/26/17 Robotic RPLND using left MSKCC template as primary treatment.
      2/2/17 Pathology results: pN0. They say I still have a 10% relapse chance.
      5/9/18 One and a half year all clear.


      • #4
        I had my RPLND at age 20 & was left with dry orgasms, so obviously not likely to have kids. I had several longish term relationships before I settled down. The children thing was never an issue. If you can't, you can't, any gal that won't accept that is not worth being with, IMHO.

        Jan, 1975: Right I/O, followed by RPLND
        Dec, 2009: Left I/O, followed by 3xBEP


        • #5
          My 2 week old sleeping on my chest at this very moment is a testament to sperm banking. Banked in 2015, IVF was done in 2016, my wife and I's 2nd child was born at the end of March 2017. Kids may be more expensive, but they are very possible, it is quite rare to be sterile from TC, although it is important to bank pre-chemo because Chemo can have a temporary or long term impact on fertility.
          6/5/15: bHCG 27,AFP 8.66, LDH 361, 5.6cm lymph node - Stage IIC
          6/16/15: Left I/O 85% EC, 10% chorio, 5% yolk sac opinion 2 (mayo) 90% EC, 10% yolk sac
          7/7/15: bHCG 56, AFP 42, LDH 322
          7/13/15 - 9/18/15: 4xEP
          10/1/15: bloodwork normal, ct scan shows 2 lymph nodes 1.0cm
          10/26/15: 2nd opinion on CT results - lymph nodes normal. Surveillance!
          4/6/16: 1.7cm X 1.5cm lymph node found with markers normal.
          4/20/16: RPLND @ IU - teratoma only!
          9/27/2018 all clears up to this date!


          • #6
            Thanks for feedback.I wouldn't worry if I'm already married,but this is strong impact on my libido and future I imagined.Yes I want to have kids,,but if I become sterile or don't find someone who's willing to have kids on second way with banking sperm,well it's not end of the world.


            • #7
              So sorry you are worrying about this, I'm sure it is common.

              From my 17 year old's perspective: "there are other ways to create a family." As far as sex, he is more concerned about kicking TC's butt still to worry about it. Grant did not bank any sperm prior to chemo 3xBEP despite my encouragement. He was barely 17 when dx, and has not had a girlfriend yet, honestly he is more interested in getting his driver's license, and first car.
              Son Grant
              dx 12/21/16 at age 17

              BEP x3
              Post Chemo CT Scan on 3/28/17 still showed a few nodes over 2 cm
              2nd Post Chemo CT Scan on 4/27/17 showed all nodes still over 2cm
              Post Chemo RPLND 5/8/17: Periaortic Teratoma, Intraaorticaval Teratoma, and Paracaval Teratoma found.


              • #8
                Hey man, it's not easy of course on you... But I noticed no change to sex after the op and my wife said there's no noticeable difference visually so it shouldn't be a problem for your partners!! Plus if you go to spermbank, you've got guarantee you can have kids if you go down that road some day!
                July 2016 - Left I/O
                December 2016 - BEPx3
                All clear for 1 year!

                My Testicular Cancer Support Kit
                First Oncologist Visit Checklist
                Simplify Cancer Podcast


                • #9
                  Hi, I met my wife almost one monthe before my TC diagnosis. Then I had I/O but no chemo (even my relapse risk was 50%). We had marriage 1.5 year after we met first time. She was OK and was supporting me with my surveillance decission. I/O does not mean that you will never have kids! You MUST do the spermbanking (in case of chemo which can cause short/long term infertility) but you will be safe and if something f...d up you will still have your "boys" in a spermbank. But IO and chemo does not mean you will never have a kids!
                  04/24/2015 – pain in the right testicle – USG confirmed mass, blood results B-HCG = 12 U/l, AFP = 6.14 ug/l, LDH = 9,
                  05/05/2015 – I/O (100% Embryonal carcinoma, LVI presented)
                  05/06/2015 – post-operative CT scan negative, 2xBEP suggested
                  6/2015 - surveillance (my decision)
                  7/2015, 9/2015 - markers negative
                  9/2015 - 2nd CT negative, 6 months later CT re-checked and found one node which measured 16x12mm
                  10/2015, 1/2016, 2/2016 - markers negative
                  2/2016 - 3rd CT scan - 2 nodes (border) - 12x8mm, 13x9mm
                  3/2016, 5/2016, 8/2016, 11/2016, 2/2017 - markers negative
                  2/2017 - 4th CT scan - 11x7mm (was 12x8mm) and 8x5mm (was 16x12mm)
                  7/2017 - markers negative


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by axe900 View Post
                    Thanks for feedback.I wouldn't worry if I'm already married,but this is strong impact on my libido and future I imagined.Yes I want to have kids,,but if I become sterile or don't find someone who's willing to have kids on second way with banking sperm,well it's not end of the world.
                    With proper TRT (if needed) you will have no medical impacts to your libido (emotional perhaps). You will bank your sperm - its cheap. No only this - but your banking young sperm so if you have kids at 35 or 45 they are healthier. You will find a woman who will go through a minor medical procedure to use your banked sperm. Even if you did not have viable sperm - plenty of other ways to have kids (I know). You will be fine.

                    P.S. did you know there are dating sites for cancer survivors ?
                    "More human than human is our motto...."