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  • Anxiety and Depression

    Hello Friends,

    Happy to report I am 11 months cancer free today. Unfortunately 2 months ago I had a panic attack that seemed to come out of nowhere. I then spiraled into dealing with anxiety/depression and feelings of dissociation. I tried medication but had a bad experience.

    I’ve been trying to rule out physical causes like low t and hypothyroidism. T is at 390 which seems to be on the lower end for a 28 year old and my tsh is averaging between 3.5 - 4.0. Vitamin D turned out to be low, as well as b12 and omega 3s. My doctor doesn’t think any of these are the cause. He thinks I’m dealing with anxiety from chronic stress.

    I have had a lot of stressors over the last 11 months like the TC experience/surveillance, becoming a father recently, moving into a new house, and lots of travel for work. It’s just hard for me to accept because I feel like I’ve had fun with these new challenges, and the surveillance has become more routine. It’s hard because if it is anxiety or PTS I’m just not as sure how to tackle that issue.

    Anyways I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone has had a similar experience, or some advice.
    3/05/18 - Ultrasound w/ multiple lesions in right testicle. HCG 5.3, LH .3, AFP 1.9, LDH 130 3/13/18 - Right I/O 3/15/18 - Path report: 1.5 CM 50% Sem, 40% Yolk cell, 10% Emb Carc. Invades spermatic cord. 3/20/18 - CT Scan: No findings of regional or distant metastatic disease. 3/27/18 - HCG .5, LDH 112, FSH 5.5 4/04/18 - First Onc appointment scheduled. 7/27/18 - On surveillance. Blood tests clear. First cut scan.

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Anxiety and depression and even PTSD symptoms comes with the territory of being a cancer survivor. In my case, when I was around a year out I actually thought I had been doing well, but the truth was I hadn't even begun to process all that I had been through. Little did I know that I had basically shut down emotionally during my cancer fight and going through EPx4 chemotherapy and the RPLND surgery, and that I was in a warrior mindset who just had to do what needed to be done without fear or emotion. I had wondered why I wasn't even the slightest bit afraid going into the RPLND surgery. The truth was that I was terrified, but it was all being repressed by that warrior mindset at the time. A year and a half out from that surgery I was out for a run one day and didn't even know what I was feeling inside, when it all came out. I sat on the curb and just wept and was trembling at the prospect of having to get the RPLND surgery done, even though it had been a year and a half since the surgery! The fear had always been there, but it was just coming out NOW is all. I realized I had so many other repressed fears and emotions, and just had to let them all come out and process them one by one to overcome. It was the start of another very long journey in dealing with the aftermath of cancer.

    You've had a lot going on in your life, and like me, your emotions about cancer and everything have probably just been on lock down, and the panic attacks are their way of coming out. I had a similar episode prior to the "dam bursting" as well.

    I've written a ton of blogs about all of this, about overcoming anxiety, depression, fears, and even PTSD. This one below is a good place to start, just to help you find your bearings. It can be so hard because you don't even know what you're feeling (or repressing), but you sure do sound a lot like myself when I was about a year out. We're all more similar than we realize.

    http://www.stevepake.com/cancer-blog...-of-its-firsts

    Hope this helps.
    Young Adult Cancer Survivorship by Steve Pake
    April is Testicular Cancer Awareness Month!
    www.stevepake.com
    Feb 2011, Stage IIB, 4xEP, RPLND, PTSD
    My Survivorship Thread | All of my Blogs
    C
    ONTACT ME ANYTIME!

    Comment


    • #3
      In this blog, "A Snapshot of Post Traumatic Stress" I detail one of my own panic attacks that occurred around a particular cancer milestone. I hadn't been consciously thinking about it at all, but that doesn't mean that our minds don't remember things and get spooked by them on a completely sub-conscious level. Our minds are simply amazing, having been a front seat passenger to what my own mind put me through, and having to learn to work at its own primitive sub-conscious level to make things right or better. This was not the first panic attack I'd had.

      http://www.stevepake.com/cancer-blog...aumatic-stress
      Young Adult Cancer Survivorship by Steve Pake
      April is Testicular Cancer Awareness Month!
      www.stevepake.com
      Feb 2011, Stage IIB, 4xEP, RPLND, PTSD
      My Survivorship Thread | All of my Blogs
      C
      ONTACT ME ANYTIME!

      Comment

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