Scanxiety

[CPOS55]

Hi everyone!

I’m just now one year removed from starting chemo. Having a checkup next week and had a scan yesterday. Having some scanxiety.

My story:
June 2018 - orchiectomy right testicle
NSGCT stage 1

Oct 2018 - relapse elevated AFP 70
Nov 5 1019 - start epx4
Jan 7 - finish EPx4 markers clear
Jan 30 - markers clear - Scan show 2 nodes over 1cm
Feb 18 - post chemo RPLND - 2 nodes only show teratoma
March - markers clear
June - markers clear afp 0.8
August - AFP 2.2 (still clear) - post surgical seroma on ct scan likely
November - markers next week & scan 2 days ago.

I’m just having total paranoia. I want this to be over, I want to get my chemo port removed before the end of year (insurance issues), but most importantly I don’t want to go through more treatment.

I’m having anxiety like crazy and I normally don’t have that. I’m constantly feeling my left testicle and convincing myself something’s wrong. Generally bad output on life currently.

What is all of your experience with a story like mine? Should I be that worried? I’m just really looking for some peace of mind.

Hope everyone is well and ready for the holidays.

Thank you.

[melanie]

Oh man do I know what you are going through! I am a mess during scan time. My husband is as well. He shuts down until its over. His last CT was in October and he thought he was handling it just fine until the day of the scan and the waiting. I don't think its reasonable to expect not to worry though. Everyone goes through it in one way or another, you are normal and not alone. Try to distract yourself, do anything that makes you feel better and try not to give anymore energy to those fearful thoughts than you have to. Hang in there! Odds are on your side that you're clean! Keep us posted and don't forget to breath

[billandtuna]

Howdy CPO!
Sounds familiar! I love the term 'scanxiety', that's a new one on me but it describes it so well :-)
I also get all wrapped around the axle when a scan is coming up, and especially waiting for the results, and for me, it is really hard to calm myself down.
A few things that help -
Get outside and walk around, especially in areas you have never been to, or haven't been to in a while. Or, if you can't get out, look out the window and do something you don't ordinarily do, like carefully watch how the birds move, or make up a little story about each person you see walking by, or anything to keep your mind busy.
Exercise.
Visit with friends, or call someone you haven't spoken to in a while.
Play a game of cards, or checkers, or chess, or Catan, or whatever.

Not great ideas:
Netflix, video games, laying in bed. Moping.

Hope that helps!

And keep us posted, we want ot hear how things are going for you...