It doesn't seem possible

[TCLEFT]

3 years clear. Why is it sometimes it feels like yesterday? Why is it sometimes it seems like just a bad dream? So much has changed. So much hasn't. I'm so tired from working. I'm so energized to be healthy enough to keep this pace. I went to see my old hospital ward. None of my old nurses were there. I felt guilty parking in a Cancer Center spot. I went to the gym afterwards. I need to register for Livestrong. I need to continue on. I need to stay grounded. I'm still here to feel all of this. I want clarity. I'm happy to still experience confusion. I want. I need. I feel. I'm tired. I'm energized. I question. I accept (sometimes). I'm here. I survive. I live. Guess that sums it up at least for today. Looks like I'll be able to start the process all over again tomorrow.
Much Love,
Mark

[Karen]

Dear Bro,

I can't believe it's been three years either, but I'm so happy it's becoming a time in your increasingly distant past. You scared the heck out of us back then....the first FFF was to celebrate you making it through a very touch-and-go time, "Indomitable Spirit".

Celebrate your three year anniversary of kicking cancer to the curb!

Love ya,
Karen

[Jay68442]

Hey Mark,
Congrats on the 3 year "all clear".

I'm here. I survive. I live.

Yes you live and you Live Strong. You're an insiration to us all. Keep going forward one step at a time and before you know it this will all really be a distant memory.

ML,
Jason

[Aegean]

Mark,

Serious Part:
As cliched and overused as it may be, time does heal (perhaps not all) wounds. If nothing else, it teaches acceptance and tolerance and to live in the now, your personal now.

Joke Part:
Either that or all that ink on your body is messing with your head

Heartfelt Part:
Congrats bro... 3 years is a milestone indeed, even in the life of a wolf

[Scott]

You always have the best thing to say. Here's to many more anniversary celebrations to come.

[Aegletes]

Everything you describe is, at least to me, the very definition of living. That's what you're doing. You had to fight very hard for that. Congratulations, Mark!

[Paul54]

I'm not surprised. Your fight earned you the gold belt (or black belt as the case may be) for beating down the crap. As far as the rest goes, I'm convinced that life would be pretty boring without the emotional highs and lows. Some people seek that out with drugs. We happen to raising kids (teens: the worst kind...) and cancer in our mix. Whenever things aren't going the way I want, I just think about all the people who have it much worse, and say a prayer.

You damned well better be at LSC Philly, Bro.

[TCLEFT]

Thanks All. Just to put you at ease. My "Head" is no more messed up than it ever was, even before Cancer. Not a mid-life crisis either. I'm just assessing my life and trying to work towards an acceptable path for myself and everyone associated with my life. Sometimes life itself can be more difficult than mortality. The positive side to this is that you're around to deal with the difficulties in the first place. And when you're really down there's always the option of a new tattoo. I've been absent most recently because of my workload, not because I had to reassess. I'm trying to make time to come back. It's not always easy. Nothing worth while ever is.
Much Love,
Mark

[Paul54]

...Not a mid-life crisis either....

It's kind of hard to tell the difference sometimes between being a guy and having a mid-life crisis. The cure for either usually involves something loud, fast or dangerous. MLC's are so under-rated.

[Aegean]

It's kind of hard to tell the difference sometimes between being a guy and having a mid-life crisis.

The shiny red Porsche in the garage and a 24 year old girlfriend would pretty much be a clincher for a midlife crisis...

[Paul54]

The shiny red Porsche in the garage and a 24 year old girlfriend would pretty much be a clincher for a midlife crisis...

Yep, certainly qualify as loud, fast and dangerous..........

[Fed]

I want clarity. I'm happy to still experience confusion. I want. I need. I feel. I'm tired. I'm energized. I question. I accept (sometimes). I'm here. I survive. I live. Guess that sums it up at least for today. Looks like I'll be able to start the process all over again tomorrow.

You have just described... well... being normal. I think you are at the point that where life is running its course. You have gotten busy living, and that, Big Bro, is a good thing.

Thanks for being here all this time. You have helped ground me, and I will mix my congratulations on this milestone with a big dollop of gratitude. I am looking forward to celebrating with you at the JBT concert in June. What could be better than that?

[mahalomom]

Mark,
I'm so happy to hear your great news!! The bottom line is no matter what you're feeling..highs and lows, clarity and confusion, the good news is you are here and you are feeling it! Glad I've got to know you on this site. You always provoke thought.
~Mary Ann