Not So Tiny Tears

[mishelly]

Sorry me posting again but I'm finding this really tough at the moment. My husband was diagnosed with TC and had left I/O 5 weeks ago. We coped great with the initial diagnosis and subsequent surgery but last week his scan revealed that the cancer had travelled to a lymph node - which neither of us had even contemplated as a possible scenario. Since then I burst out crying every time I have to explain it to someone (my husband seems to have taken it reasonably well compared to me). He starts chemo on monday. I tried to go back to work day after we got the news but cried on the train, cried in work and left after about half an hour. I haven't gone back all week. I have absolutely no interest in work - even if I turned up I don't think I'd do much to be honest. I want to be there for him if and when he needs me not sitting at a desk staring in to space wondering how he is doing! He has 9 weeks of chemo ahead - one week in hospital and then 2 weeks at home, repeated X3. I have an appointment with my doctor on monday to discuss a possible sick line for me for work (again new territory for me).

Do the tears stop soon? I'm not normally like this and thought I was quite strong, perhaps it's the shock?

[ryder]

Dear Mishelly

First stop and take a deep breathe. You have to get your head in the game. It is scary believe me, we had our baby and then three weeks later we were doing chemo, I shed a whole lot of tears myself especially those first few days and then one day I realized that I had to get my head on straight, that my husband and my family needed me. Take time every day to yourself to cry and be sad, you need to, but remember your husband is going to need you to be there for him, he is going to need you to be his caregiver. Remember that even though it has spread, it is still very curable. Stay on top of your husbands treatments, know whats going on at all times, listen to your husband, love your husband and try to make lots of wonderful memories together. Remember that if he gets grouchy with you that it's not you he is mad at, its cancer, don't take it personally. I think that's all I have for advise.

It's going to get better I promise, just take it one step at a time, on breathe at a time and fight fight fight.

Feel free to PM me anytime, I have been where you are sadly.

[mishelly]

Thank you for your words of advice Dawn Ann, I really think they helped me focus. The good news is - my head is in the game today! Time to get on with it and be positive. I don't really know what's ahead but we have to do it, so time to knuckle down and be strong.
M