He is only 13 years old

[River Blue]

I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort and peace knowing that Patrick is in a better place, and he left this world surrounded by love. We can all only hope for the same.

With loving thoughts and prayer,
Celeste

[lost parent]

Today I woke and my son was gone,stayed in his room last night and heard his dad talking to him this morning. Woke up only to find I was dreaming.

[frank1980]

There is a part, a dimension, where dreams are real too, I don't know where it is, but I'm sure that exist! May my strongest, warmest and friendly hug travel through the ocean and the lands and reach you!

[Frank's Mom]

I am so sorry for your lost. Your family will always be in my prayers.

Jeanne

[boyce]

And listening. That Angel you made may be offering you the peace that you so deserve. He guided you through the long, long, fight. He won't stop leading you now.

[tjbrady]

Today I woke and my son was gone,stayed in his room last night and heard his dad talking to him this morning. Woke up only to find I was dreaming.

There will be those moments. I felt Vince giving me a hug one night. It felt so real it woke me up. I thanked him and went back to sleep. Had to be a dream...or was it? Cherish the moments.

[MPsr]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss! Such a long struggle you all had.
How brave you all are!!
God bless!

[Osaka_23]

Dear Oakes Family,

I'm sorry to hear about the lost of your beautiful son, my heart goes out to you and your entire family. No words can express the grief and sadness felt by people on this online community, I would like you thank you and Patrik for being open and sharing your experiences, it was truly heart breaking reading your posts. He has had a great effect on us all and he can never be replaced. R.I.P Patrik! Gone but never forgotten.

[Pattytricia]

I am so sorry and send my deepest sympathy to your whole family. I, too, wish you comfort and peace.

[Maryann]

May his memory be eternal!

[DianeE]

Dear Kay, Paul and Oakes Family,

I am so sorry for the loss of Patrik.
He showed such courage during
his battle and his memory will provide
a beacon of hope for all who are fighting
cancer, especially children with rhabdomyosarcoma.

I believe Patrik is in a place
where there is no pain or illness.
Only peace, and happiness.
And maybe he got his wish
and he is ten again.

With love in Patrik's memory:


Today I will be ten again
and maybe climb a tree.
When I reach the highest limb,
Some clouds will visit me.

They'll tell me secret things
that only clouds like them would know.
A gentle breeze, a whispered sneeze,
and off I'll see them go.

Today I will be ten again
and walk along a stream.
I'll skip a stone and look for frogs
all wiggly and green.

A nearby rock will be my throne
and I will rule the land.
I'll be the king of consequences
I can't understand.

The troubles I had yesterday
will all be far away.
I won't have to think of them
if I am ten today.

Today I will be ten again.
I'll grow strong wings and fly
just like the eagle who asked me
to join him in the sky.

A painless, peaceful feeling
comes with being ten today.
So if I can be ten again,
that's how I'm going to stay.

Diane Ewing (c)2012

[lost parent]

That is beautiful DianeE

If we have room may we use that in the service?

Paul Oakes

[DianeE]

Of course Paul.

I would be humbly honored to be a small part of
the celebration of Patrik's life.

God Bless You and your family.

Diane

[TCGirlfriend]

Dear Oakes family,
I'm new to this site and to the heartbreak that cancer can cause. I finally got to read your blog and am truly astounded how the date started in 2006 at his diagnosis and he fought so hard and so bravely for six years after being originally told six months! My heart breaks for the loss of your son! I am so glad you got to spend those extra years with him! The picture of your family on the couch together is so incredibly wonderful! I will be praying for you all and wishing peace to be found to live every day to its fullest! Big hugs from Daniel and Nikki in Tennessee!!

[lost parent]

The live stream for Patriks funeral is:

http://live.spectruproductions.com.au

A test pattern will be available from 2200 hours Friday 25th May AEST and the service starts at 1330 hours Saturday 26th May AEST.

Paul Oakes

[James' Mum]

Dear Kay and Paul, my heart aches for your whole family. Patrick has been a true fighter and an inspiration to us all. May he rest in peace and may you all find comfort in each other. Sending much love from Perth. xxx

[cbvance]

I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for your family that you will be comforted in this time of sorrow.

[lost parent]

Sorry the url address was mis spelt. it is
http://live.spectrumproductions.com.au

sorry

[Davepet]

That was an amazing service, now the hard part begins, healing.

Please drop in now & again & let us know how you're doing, if you feel up to it.

Dave

[S P]

So sorry to hear, but glad that Patrik no longer has to suffer. He was so brave.

[mahalomom]

Paul and Kay I just wanted to let you know that we are continuing to think of you and pray for your peace.

Hugs from across the miles.

Mary Ann

[DianeE]

Dear Paul, Kay and Oakes Family,

It's hard to describe something as being both wonderful and heartbreaking
at the same time, but that is just how I would describe Patrik's funeral.

It was wonderful to hear about your lives and how you came together and
expanded your family. Wonderful to hear the words that Patrik wrote
to each of you, but heartbreaking to know they were the last words
you each will have from him. I don't really know any of you, but couldn't
help but smile and even chuckle a bit at some of the truly funny things
that Patrik had written.

Paul, as I watched you say thanks to the various people and organizations
I couldn't help but wonder how on earth you found the strength to stand in
front of family, friends and the world who were watching, but then I thought about
how much courage Patrik had shown through six years of treatment and I
understood where his fortitude came from.

I couldn't keep my tears from falling when "Oh Very Young" was played.
All the music was perfect, but that song was especially powerful.

I wish for all the Oakes Family healing peace in the days ahead and hope
the pain that must be so intense now, will ease as the days pass.

Diane Ewing

[CharlieFL]

As with many of us, our daily grind tends to make us numb to what's really important. A nagging feeling all weekend to log on after some time brought me here today. Now, I know why.

Like many others, I have followed Patrik's journey for many years and my prayers have included him ever since. The love and guidance the Oakes family provided to Patrik while the Lord allowed him to share his life with them is truly sincere and a testament to human relationships and the importance of family.

I mourn with you but I also pray with you. I know he is sitting at the Lord's table together with so many (too many) others who have had to endure the same walk of life.

May God Bless Patrik and the Oakes Family now and always!


"Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy". John 16:22

[Matt's mom]

Dear Oakes family and friends,

I have followed Patrick's fight since last year. As a parent of a son currently fighting this disease, I have only my deepest and most sincere condolences to offer you. I wish I had something more profound to offer but I just don't think any words are good enough. I can only hope that you all can get through this time.

Cheryl

[lost parent]

On behalf of Kay and Myself I would like to say thankyou to everyone on this site for the compassionate words over the last few weeks.

We are still trying to come to terms with what has happened and are finding it difficult to comprehend why this has happened. I know this will only be answered when its our turn however that doesn't stop us from wondering.

I have heard it said that all wounds heal with time but with what we are feeling at the moment I find this a difficult statement to get my head around.

We will pop in from time to time as you all feel like family however please understand if we are gone for a while, it is all so raw now and we need to get our heads into something else.

Once again thankyou from the bottom of our hearts.

Paul & Kay.

[Davepet]

Absolutely take all the time you need. This place & it's residents aren't going any where soon, so feel free to say hi whenever it feels right to you.

Dave

[lost parent]

Hello Everyone , it's been alittle while since we posted.
Paul and I still take one day at a time and our children are doing ok.
Patrik asked us to still go ahead with the pub just before he passed, well
We did go ahead and brought a pub and motel in one. Should be taking over in Aug
will let you all know when we move in. Hope you are all well . Love Kay Paul

[TonyTigger]

So thankful to hear from you guys. Here is looking forword to more pub news.

[val]

Hi Paul and Kay,

It is nice to hear you doing ok and the family also. The very best of luck with the pub.

[Kat]

Dear Paul and Kay---As always, thank you so much for taking the time to give us an update, and letting us know what's going on with your family. I know that a lot of us here think of you both, and Patrik, and your whole family, every single day. I heard some Queen on the radio the other day and thought of Patrik's excellent taste in music. :-)

[lost parent]

Gday everyone

well its been 3 months now since Patrik passed and Kay and I are still finding it difficult without him. Its just not the same anymore, however we just keep going and take each day as it comes.

As Kay mentioned we should be taking ownership of the pub in the next few days so this will be a start of a new life for us.

The kids are doing fine, every now and again his sisters have a bad day but this is to be expected and over time they, as we, will learn to live with what has happened.

Work has taken some of the rawness of Patrik away and I have had to complete my contracts as I am a Project Manager in the construction Industry. Unfortunately most of my work is away from home so Kay and I have had to deal with things in our own way which is not ideal but we seem to make it work.

Anyway I thought Id just pop in and say hello and hope that everyone is winning their battle with the cancer.

best wishes
Paul Oakes

[Davepet]

Good to hear your update Paul! I hope things get easier for you as time goes by. Good luck with your pub.

Dave

[Aegletes]

Thank you for checking, Paul. Getting back to work and leading a busy life always poses a dilemma in a situation like this: you want to give yourself and your family the time and the attention to grieve together, but at the same time being busy can actually offer a respite from the pain. I know people who for whatever reason stayed home and I got the sense it was actually a lot harder for them, spending so much time alone with their pain and grief.

Alex

[frank1980]

Hi Paul and hi Kay,

My opinion is that, after a dramatic experience like you have had, the only remedy to feel "better" is to try to start to do the usual things again. Losing a son is a shocking and painful event, I know, but we have to find inside ourselves the mental strength to continue our lives, in memory of the beloved one we have lost.

Good luck with your pub !!!!

A sincere, friendly and strong hug !!!!

Frank

[kmom49]

You are blessed to have a strong family unit, for sure even if you are away from each other from time to time! I can't even imagine the whole left in a parent's heart after losing a child. My prayers and thoughts are always with you! Kathy

[CharlieFL]

Good thing I popped in for a quick "visit" and see a recent post from you. My prayers are with you and the Oakes family always.

[davidhanson90]

Really Great to hear from you Paul. Wishing you all well and good luck with the pub.

[lost parent]

Hello everyone, not sure what to say , life with out Patrik is still so very hard. We still have the pub and is doing good. Every day I drag my self out of bed and help Paul run the pub, it does not get any easier it gets worse as time goes on. I hate having to face the world just want the world to go away, miss Pat so much so don't want to do Xmas day . Love Kay

[lost parent]

So sorry I can't write any thing nice in this post but truth is life does not get any better over time

[Davepet]

So sorry I can't write any thing nice in this post but truth is life does not get any better over time

It's just too soon, Kay. It will get better, but it will take longer than this. This first Christmas will be difficult, I don't think there is a way to sugar-coat that. Next year should be a bit better. It takes time to grieve, & the closer the person, the more time it takes....

I wish I could be more help.

Dave

[Scott]

I am so sorry, Kay. Have you sought bereavement counseling to help you? As hard as it is now, I'm sure Patrik would want you to find happiness.

[TonyTigger]

When I was first diagnosed with TC I was not worried about myself but those that would be left behind. My prayers are with you and all of our TC family that have lost their loved ones this year. As impossible as it seems please remember how blessed it was to have Patrik and how blessed you still are with an awesome family. We know this from how you have shared Patirk's story and the family was always there for him. I know you will not see him again on this side of eternity but the other side is for...........eternity.

[CancerSux]

Kay, I am so sorry. The "firsts" are so hard. I wish I had some magic words, but Scott's suggestion of bereavement counseling is a good one.

Our love and good wishes are with you and Paul and the kids,
Tracy

[Fed]

Kay, no doubt this is really difficult, and I am deeply sorry about these struggles. Definitely seek help if needed. Talk to people. Don't keep the feelings packed in.

As always, we are here backing you all.

[Les' Mom]

Kay, I am sitting half way around the world from you and saying and feeling the same things. People especially mommas that have not experienced what we have dont understand the depth of the pain. I will do the only thing I know to do and that is hold you in my heart today as I know you will do also for me.

much love,
Pam

[bruceba]

I am so sorry, Kay. Have you sought bereavement counseling to help you? As hard as it is now, I'm sure Patrik would want you to find happiness.

Please heed Scott,s advice, sometimes it takes someone with training and experience to help overcome what you have endured.
You guys have touched countless lives, best wishes.
Bruce

[petep]

Hi Paul and Kay -

It has been a while since I have been on the forum. I am so sorry to just now learn of Patriks passing. I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to meet you both and patrik while you were at disney in CA. The other day I happened to be looking at the footy that you brought and gave my son. Maybe that is why I thought of checking the forum. I don't have any words, other than a sincere thank you for providing such inspiration to me over the years and I'm certain many others.

pete from florida

[lost parent]

Hi Everyone

Just thought Id pop by and say hello. Its been nearly 12 months since Patrik left us and it hasnt been easy. We bought the pub and I retired from the construction industry. Needed to spend time with Kay & kids and just take each day as it came.

Thanks for all the kind words, we seem to have got through most of the bad times and are starting to pick ourselves slowly up. Pub keeps us busy and we have met some really nice people who took Pat to their hearts as we named the public bar after him.

Time just seems to go on and its hard to believe that its been nearly 12 months but we just keep taking each day as it comes. I think the hardest thing was cleaning out his room but we have kept mosy of his prized items and have given other items to people who meant alot to him during his short life. They were extremely happy to get them.

Anyways I dont know what to say really, just that we are still here and starting to cope better. I think the next few weeks will tell though...

Paul Oakes

[TonyTigger]

Thanks for the update Paul. We will be praying for you guys over the next few weeks.

[JeffX]

I'm sorry for your loss.